Stupid Customers...

It's called service with a SMILE.
(you have to smile even when )

but the one below is the best:
19. I need unlimited minutes. Cause I got all my girls to call, yo.

 

A good one I haven't heard in a while is...

"Who is your cell phone with" customer answers "Motorola"

or

"I was sittin' next to my house trying to call Ella Mae inside and I could't reach her...and I was right next to my house." "Sir do you have a signal at your house?" "I don't know...why does that matter...I was right next to my house."

 

Or..

"I heard yaw were puttin up some more sattelites in this area."

 

ROFL...that's a great one. Cust came in and couldn't figure out why there was a "tape reel" on the screen. Well that's a icon to let you know you have a vmail to listen too. "Voice mail what's that?" Voice mail is just like your answering machine at home."Huh?" You don't have a answering machine at home? "Nope" :headscrat

 

Lol, next time you could tell that customer that he/she needs to change the VM cassette in the battery compartment.

 

:lmao: That's why I hide behind a phone... don't think I could be a sales rep... I'd laugh too much in people's faces and they'd throw their phones at me. :loony:

 

It's hard sometime not to laugh in their face, at least retail reps can usually go around the corner and make fun of them...

Of course it really sucks when you get busted making fun of them...

 

You just can't make these things up.

Stupidity has no limits.

 

I love that! I try not to make fun of the customers but sometimes they deserve it. I had a customer once that had a linnen blouse and she was yelling at me THIS WAS BRAND-NEW! IT LOOKS 5 YEARS OLD! YOU'RE GOING TO BUY ME A NEW ONE! I calmly looked on the reverse of the care label and it said SUM 99. I told her there was a reason it looked 5 years old - because it was. I never saw her again, and I don't miss her either.

 

I once had a guy about 450 pounds come in and try to return a pair of shoes he had for about a week the soles were made of EVA (looks nice and is a light material, but will compress with weight).

Well he's says "I only wore them around the house" After about ten minutes of me telling him no refund and him cussing me out, I proceeded to ask him if he lived in a "mud hut" their was red mud all over the soles and the shoes were flattened....He was just looking for some weekend money.

He was pissed, I eventually picked up his shoes and through them out into the Mall...of course I wasn't as couraguous as I seemed I was actually aiming for a security guard that was walking by. The guard came in all mad, but quickly figured out what was going on.

Of course later that night when I went to my car I had a nice new dent in the dirvers side door. It's pretty sad that I had to have a concealed weapons permit to manage a Foot Locker.

 

That sure sucks......who put the dent in your car? The guard or the cheating customer?

 

What was the saying I read recently? Oh yeah something to the effect: The more we make things idiot profess, the better idiots the universe produces.

Though I've never been in customer service, per se, I have worked in directory assistance. But its has been more than 2 decades. I think one of the best calls I had was:

"Is this Information."
"Well, yes, we're Directory Assistance"
"Well, I was told that 411 is Information. I need help with my homework."
(I recommended the caller go to the local library and have a librarian help them find printed reference material for their homework.)

 

Ok, Here's the situation: Customer claims he's missing clothes, produces a claimcheck and says it is suits.

I look at the ticket and tell the customer the ticket is for oxford shirts, It can't possibly be suits.

Customer states it is impossible - He doesn't own any oxford shirts.

But Sir, You're wearing one right now... :loony:

 

LMAO, those two last posts made my morning before work.

 

Customers mis-pronouncing phones...

Nokia - Often called No-Kya, Nokio, Nokum, Nocker, or my fav, No-kita
Motorola - Motorolum, Motio (no lie)
Kyocera - Kie-oh-sarah, Key-oh-c-oh, Key-oh-terra
Kyocera Koy - the Key-Oh or Kie-oh "No ma'am, it's Koy, like the Japanese fish?!"

Satellite towers? Good grief.

"I can't call my wife and she's in the car behind us"
Did you have a good signal?
"Whats it matter, she wasn't 50 feet away"

"I'M GOIN TO NEXTEL!"
See you in a year!

"This phone just fries!"
Can you clarify a bit please?
"You know, IT JUST FRIES, its like stingin my ear an stuff"

"My phone just quit workin"
Ma'am, the liquid damage indicator shows water damage and it reeks of coffee.
"B.S.! Then I bought it that way, I wanna new one"

"Can you tell me why theres this purple line across my screen, all the ink is running out"
Ink? Oh, I see, the screen is broke. Did you drop the phone?
"He!! no I didnt drop it, I put it on the table last night, and when I woke up it was just like that"
Well, it is physical damage, not manufacturer defect, the repair will be $45.
"B.S., I'm goin to Nextel!"

"This phone doesn't work anywhere, absolutely nowhere!!!, I can't call nobody!!! I just wanna throw it out the window!"
Ma'am, you've had this phone for 30 days and the call timer shows 4,800 minutes.

"Dude, this phone is crap, ya'lls service sucks"
Sir, the insides of this phone are coated in gelatinous goo? Do you know how that could've gotten inside? Theres a good 2 ounces of it in there.

"My phone wont charge"
Sir, it appears the charging port has been mutilated with a large blunt object, the connection pins inside the phone are actually missing and it appears to have teeth marks on the casing.
"Whatever, ya'lls service sucks, I get this B.S. every time I come here!"

"I'm gonna pull a new phone out yer a$$"
That'd be a cool trick!

"This phone gets so hot when I talk on it, like hot enough to burn me"
Ma'am, the call timers tell me you use this phone 8000 minutes a month, sometimes for 3 hours at a time.
"So"
Its also a V60 with an aluminum case.
"So, is it giving me cancer?"

"My battery wont last no time at all"
Sir, the call timers indicate that you are talking for 2+ hours at a time. How often do you have to charge it?
"Bout every other day"
Damn, thats pretty freekin good!

"My phone just stopped working today"
I'll make a test call, sure enough, its not working, whats your number?
"555-1212"
I'm sorry ma'am, thats not a valid number in my system.
(This goes on for 20 minutes until she says...)
"I've had that number at my HOUSE for years"


"This phone dont work and I live under the tower"
Is it a Bluegrass Tower?
"Whats it matter?"
(Do you live in a lead bunker?)

"My phone is dead, help me"
Ok, let me see here, ahhh-well, its turning on.
"Hey, what'd you do?"
I pushed the power button.
"It has a power button?"

"My neighbor has been intercepting my phone calls"
Sir, this LG phone is a digital only model, is your neighbor quite wealthy?
"Nah, he lives in a trailer up top o the hill"
Sir, then this is impossible.
"Nah, he been tellin me my conversations at the bar where we meet up"

"This phone is a piece o $hit"
Sir, it appears to have been dropped in tar, and then run through a tree chipper.
"So?"

 

^It's really hard to believe that some of the situations are real since they reek of major stupidity

These rock:

"My phone wont charge"
Sir, it appears the charging port has been mutilated with a large blunt object, the connection pins inside the phone are actually missing and it appears to have teeth marks on the casing.
"Whatever, ya'lls service sucks, I get this B.S. every time I come here!"

"My neighbor has been intercepting my phone calls"
Sir, this LG phone is a digital only model, is your neighbor quite wealthy?
"Nah, he lives in a trailer up top o the hill"
Sir, then this is impossible.
"Nah, he been tellin me my conversations at the bar where we meet up"

 

I am sooooooo freeking glad I'm out of that dept.

 

I once had a business customer that had the service for three months and ran up 13,000 dollars in charges but wanted to get a credit "from day one" because the service didn't work well.

I think he is still in collections.

 

^How the hell does someone run up such a high cell phone bill in 3 months?!!

 

He had about 10 lines, and businesses are not hotlined as quickly as consumer customers.

He he really used allot of airtime as well, which was the part that made it so funny.

 

How could you doubt such an upstanding citizen? After all his neighbor probably was listening, just not over the air. Probably at the window or screen door. After all there is not much else to do in a traditional trailer park.LOL........

PS did he have teeth.

 

This is central Kentucky, we get all kinds around here. Unfortunately, the phones are much too smart for many of these folks.

 

Ok, get this - We had a power failure last night at the store. Everything was running on battery backups. I locked the doors & closed the store. Several customers still insisted on banging on the doors despite the signs on the door that said "CLOSED DUE TO UTILITY FAILURE" in 72 pt font, the traffic light out front was out, & the parking lot lights were out. One guy said "I drove over an hour to get here, what do you mean I can't pick up my clothes?" Sir, the power is out. I can't access the computer to find the location where your clothes are stored. Even if I did know where they were there is no power so I cannot spin the conveyor to get them. Another guy gave me a hard time, said I should buy a generator. A generator to supply enough 3 phase power for my store will run at least $30,000. At $1.89 per garment we don't have money for that. I can't see spending that kind of money to stay open a few extra hours a year. What's wrong with these people?

 

That sure is irate behavior to say the least.....you should've told him to finance your generator, Jay

 

There's one that happened to me, but I don't think it's approriate. I'd get banned.. LOL, but if you want to know PM me.

 

Had another one today. Customer said Why would I lie to you? I've been a customer of yours for 15 years! All of the customers in line started laughing. I said Sir, we've only been open for 2 1/2 years. (3 1/2 years ago this was a vacant lot.) The customer left w/o saying another word.

-Jay

 

Man, these are great fun to read. I work in retention so I have waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too many of these to post. I'll try to think of some good ones and post them.

 

Maybe that customer waited at the vacant lot for 12 years until you opened up there

 

LOL, or maybe he meant with the company.. unless the company hasn't existed for 3 years.