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Stupid Customers...

Discussion in 'Working or Investing in the Wireless Industry' started by Kalimotxo, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. Kalimotxo

    Kalimotxo Bronze Senior Member
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    I don't know about y'all but I get some pretty stupid questions at the vzw store I work at... The following is a list of my favorites... a few I had to take out b/c they were pretty bad. Anyone else got some good ones?


    1. I got Verizon…but when Verzion and AT&T merge…what is gonna happen to my Digital!!!????
    2. I wanna set up a DSL account, and tie it to my Verizon cell phone.
    3. RUN MY CREDIT
    4. *edited*
    5. I got Verizon at my home! (just looks at me, smiling)
    6. I live in Bedford (extended network area), and I’m getting charged for Roaming. Why?
    7. MY PHONE DON’T WORK
    8. --My girlfriend has Verizon but I’m getting charged for calling her. Shouldn’t it be IN-calling? --Well, do you have a copy of your bill? That’s really the only way I could tell is by analyzing where the charges are coming from. –What does my bill have to do with anything?
    9. I think it’s the representative’s fault that I did not receive my rebate because the representative did not tell me I should read the instructions on how to fill out the rebate form.
    10. I would give you my damn number if I had a damn phone…why in the hell do you think I am here?
    11. Can you look up my account to see what kind of plan I’m on?... but it’s through NTelos.
    12. *edited*
    13. Where is Customer Service?
    14. Where is [name of store at the mall]?
    15. Can I pay my bill here?
    16. I’m lookin for a headset so I can stick it in my ear and listen to it!
    17. *edited*
    18. *edited*
    19. I need unlimited minutes. Cause I got all my girls to call, yo.
    20. I think Verizon should be sued because nowhere in the manual does it say that your phone could be destroyed if you get it wet!
    21. Can you set up voicemail on my nTelos phone?
    22. I just bought this phone a month ago, and I dropped it in a sink last night. Why can’t you give me another phone?!?!
    23. If you pull up my account, you’ll see a special flag on it so that I can get a new phone for free through this special arrangement that the guy at customer service set up. I’d like to do that today.
    24. Yo…why you run credit FO?
    25. Can you pull up my account? Sure I can, what is your mobile telephone number? I do not know what my number is…I never call myself!
    26. Can you hear me now…that’s bull ****…he is not in Floyd at my house trying to make that call…can you hear me now…I would like to kick that dudes *** that says that.
    27. Excuse me, how much are your faceplates for a Nokia? (shows me phone) –I’m sorry. We don’t have faceplates here. –Yes you do, I see ‘em right over there! (pointing at the US Cellular store) –Oh, we’re not affiliated with them. –Oh, really? --Yep! –(Their friend) I tol’ you Sheniqua!
    28. Hey I need a charger for this phone. (shows me an OLD Audiovox). –I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t have any chargers for that phone anymore. –Well why not? It’s a Verizon phone!
    29. What did they do with Mcdonald’s?
    30. I lost my aereola…can you replace it? I’ll be listening for you to call me about my aereola!
    31. Can you order extra manuals? Didn’t you receive one in your box? I didn’t get a box I just got a phone. I got it from you guy’s right here though. Well then, ma’am you definitely received a box with a manual in it. Oh, well maybe my daughter has it, she just gave me the phone.
    32. Can you get my phone off of “wiggle” and back on to “ring”?
    33. Can you tell me where “General Domain” is? Im sorry mam, but I do not know where General Domain is. THEY TOLD ME IT WAS IN THE FOOD COURT. Well ma’am, do you see any restaurants here. Not really, but I saw the checkered floor and thought I was at the food court. I see some people selling stuff here. Ma’am, those are Girl Scout cookies.
    34. Is wireless headset unlimited?
    35. I need unlimited prepay minutes, I only get 74 little dollars a month.
    36. (watching me type) “It amazing you can push them buttons and make stuff happen” Later... “I don’t do no reading”
    37. I ain’t never had no problem on my credit, somebody done stoled my identity!
    38. My CD thing don’t work that I got in my box. Does it need the internet to work? Well ma’am I don’t think so, I’ve never heard of a problem like this before. Well, cause my tv aint got no internet so that just doesn’t make sense! Did you put it in your DVD player? Yea, so what?
    39. Customer: Excuse me I have a question. Me: Yes, how may I help you? Customer: This food court sucks! Me: Oh, well that’s not really a question but ok.
    40. Yo, Y’all got an unlimited plan. Unlimited N & W, is that Daytime too?
    41. I have a stupid question.
    42. Me: Our plans are nationwide. Customer: So that means I can call overseas?
     
  2. jones

    jones Silver Senior Member
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    It's called service with a SMILE.
    (you have to smile even when :censored: )

    but the one below is the best:
    19. I need unlimited minutes. Cause I got all my girls to call, yo.
     
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  3. WirelessBeachBum

    WirelessBeachBum Soylent Green is People
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    A good one I haven't heard in a while is...

    "Who is your cell phone with" customer answers "Motorola"

    or

    "I was sittin' next to my house trying to call Ella Mae inside and I could't reach her...and I was right next to my house." "Sir do you have a signal at your house?" "I don't know...why does that matter...I was right next to my house."
     
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  4. WirelessBeachBum

    WirelessBeachBum Soylent Green is People
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    Or..

    "I heard yaw were puttin up some more sattelites in this area."
     
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  5. BayAreaJim

    BayAreaJim New Member

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    ROFL...that's a great one. Cust came in and couldn't figure out why there was a "tape reel" on the screen. Well that's a icon to let you know you have a vmail to listen too. "Voice mail what's that?" Voice mail is just like your answering machine at home."Huh?" You don't have a answering machine at home? "Nope" :headscrat
     
  6. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
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    Lol, next time you could tell that customer that he/she needs to change the VM cassette in the battery compartment.

    :D
     
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  7. MOTOhooligan

    MOTOhooligan Former Mobile Data Addict
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    :lmao: That's why I hide behind a phone... don't think I could be a sales rep... I'd laugh too much in people's faces and they'd throw their phones at me. :loony:
     
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  8. WirelessBeachBum

    WirelessBeachBum Soylent Green is People
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    It's hard sometime not to laugh in their face, at least retail reps can usually go around the corner and make fun of them...

    Of course it really sucks when you get busted making fun of them...
     
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  9. Bugwart

    Bugwart Bronze Senior Member
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    You just can't make these things up.

    Stupidity has no limits.
     
  10. Jay2TheRescue

    Jay2TheRescue Resident Spamslayer
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    I love that! I try not to make fun of the customers but sometimes they deserve it. I had a customer once that had a linnen blouse and she was yelling at me THIS WAS BRAND-NEW! IT LOOKS 5 YEARS OLD! YOU'RE GOING TO BUY ME A NEW ONE! I calmly looked on the reverse of the care label and it said SUM 99. I told her there was a reason it looked 5 years old - because it was. I never saw her again, and I don't miss her either.
     
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  11. WirelessBeachBum

    WirelessBeachBum Soylent Green is People
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    I once had a guy about 450 pounds come in and try to return a pair of shoes he had for about a week the soles were made of EVA (looks nice and is a light material, but will compress with weight).

    Well he's says "I only wore them around the house" After about ten minutes of me telling him no refund and him cussing me out, I proceeded to ask him if he lived in a "mud hut" their was red mud all over the soles and the shoes were flattened....He was just looking for some weekend money.

    He was pissed, I eventually picked up his shoes and through them out into the Mall...of course I wasn't as couraguous as I seemed I was actually aiming for a security guard that was walking by. The guard came in all mad, but quickly figured out what was going on.

    Of course later that night when I went to my car I had a nice new dent in the dirvers side door. It's pretty sad that I had to have a concealed weapons permit to manage a Foot Locker.
     
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  12. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
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    That sure sucks......who put the dent in your car? The guard or the cheating customer?
     
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  13. KevinJames

    KevinJames WA's 1st retired mod
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    What was the saying I read recently? Oh yeah something to the effect: The more we make things idiot profess, the better idiots the universe produces.

    Though I've never been in customer service, per se, I have worked in directory assistance. But its has been more than 2 decades. I think one of the best calls I had was:

    "Is this Information."
    "Well, yes, we're Directory Assistance"
    "Well, I was told that 411 is Information. I need help with my homework."
    (I recommended the caller go to the local library and have a librarian help them find printed reference material for their homework.)
     
  14. Jay2TheRescue

    Jay2TheRescue Resident Spamslayer
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    Ok, Here's the situation: Customer claims he's missing clothes, produces a claimcheck and says it is suits.

    I look at the ticket and tell the customer the ticket is for oxford shirts, It can't possibly be suits.

    Customer states it is impossible - He doesn't own any oxford shirts.

    But Sir, You're wearing one right now... :loony:
     
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  15. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
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    LMAO, those two last posts made my morning before work.

    :D
     
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  16. Blue_Tech

    Blue_Tech Member
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    Location:
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    My Phone:
    LG VX6000
    Wireless Provider(s):
    Bluegrass Cellular
    Customers mis-pronouncing phones...

    Nokia - Often called No-Kya, Nokio, Nokum, Nocker, or my fav, No-kita
    Motorola - Motorolum, Motio (no lie)
    Kyocera - Kie-oh-sarah, Key-oh-c-oh, Key-oh-terra
    Kyocera Koy - the Key-Oh or Kie-oh "No ma'am, it's Koy, like the Japanese fish?!"

    Satellite towers? Good grief.

    "I can't call my wife and she's in the car behind us"
    Did you have a good signal?
    "Whats it matter, she wasn't 50 feet away"

    "I'M GOIN TO NEXTEL!"
    See you in a year!

    "This phone just fries!"
    Can you clarify a bit please?
    "You know, IT JUST FRIES, its like stingin my ear an stuff"

    "My phone just quit workin"
    Ma'am, the liquid damage indicator shows water damage and it reeks of coffee.
    "B.S.! Then I bought it that way, I wanna new one"

    "Can you tell me why theres this purple line across my screen, all the ink is running out"
    Ink? Oh, I see, the screen is broke. Did you drop the phone?
    "He!! no I didnt drop it, I put it on the table last night, and when I woke up it was just like that"
    Well, it is physical damage, not manufacturer defect, the repair will be $45.
    "B.S., I'm goin to Nextel!"

    "This phone doesn't work anywhere, absolutely nowhere!!!, I can't call nobody!!! I just wanna throw it out the window!"
    Ma'am, you've had this phone for 30 days and the call timer shows 4,800 minutes.

    "Dude, this phone is crap, ya'lls service sucks"
    Sir, the insides of this phone are coated in gelatinous goo? Do you know how that could've gotten inside? Theres a good 2 ounces of it in there.

    "My phone wont charge"
    Sir, it appears the charging port has been mutilated with a large blunt object, the connection pins inside the phone are actually missing and it appears to have teeth marks on the casing.
    "Whatever, ya'lls service sucks, I get this B.S. every time I come here!"

    "I'm gonna pull a new phone out yer a$$"
    That'd be a cool trick!

    "This phone gets so hot when I talk on it, like hot enough to burn me"
    Ma'am, the call timers tell me you use this phone 8000 minutes a month, sometimes for 3 hours at a time.
    "So"
    Its also a V60 with an aluminum case.
    "So, is it giving me cancer?"

    "My battery wont last no time at all"
    Sir, the call timers indicate that you are talking for 2+ hours at a time. How often do you have to charge it?
    "Bout every other day"
    Damn, thats pretty freekin good!

    "My phone just stopped working today"
    I'll make a test call, sure enough, its not working, whats your number?
    "555-1212"
    I'm sorry ma'am, thats not a valid number in my system.
    (This goes on for 20 minutes until she says...)
    "I've had that number at my HOUSE for years"
    :banghead:

    "This phone dont work and I live under the tower"
    Is it a Bluegrass Tower?
    "Whats it matter?"
    (Do you live in a lead bunker?)

    "My phone is dead, help me"
    Ok, let me see here, ahhh-well, its turning on.
    "Hey, what'd you do?"
    I pushed the power button.
    "It has a power button?"

    "My neighbor has been intercepting my phone calls"
    Sir, this LG phone is a digital only model, is your neighbor quite wealthy?
    "Nah, he lives in a trailer up top o the hill"
    Sir, then this is impossible.
    "Nah, he been tellin me my conversations at the bar where we meet up"

    "This phone is a piece o $hit"
    Sir, it appears to have been dropped in tar, and then run through a tree chipper.
    "So?"
     
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  17. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
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    ^It's really hard to believe that some of the situations are real since they reek of major stupidity :D

    These rock:

    "My phone wont charge"
    Sir, it appears the charging port has been mutilated with a large blunt object, the connection pins inside the phone are actually missing and it appears to have teeth marks on the casing.
    "Whatever, ya'lls service sucks, I get this B.S. every time I come here!"

    "My neighbor has been intercepting my phone calls"
    Sir, this LG phone is a digital only model, is your neighbor quite wealthy?
    "Nah, he lives in a trailer up top o the hill"
    Sir, then this is impossible.
    "Nah, he been tellin me my conversations at the bar where we meet up"
     
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  18. Blue_Tech

    Blue_Tech Member
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    I am sooooooo freeking glad I'm out of that dept.
     
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  19. WirelessBeachBum

    WirelessBeachBum Soylent Green is People
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    I once had a business customer that had the service for three months and ran up 13,000 dollars in charges but wanted to get a credit "from day one" because the service didn't work well.

    I think he is still in collections.
     
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  20. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
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    E-Plus (BASE 12 month flatrate)/Vodafone Germany
    ^How the hell does someone run up such a high cell phone bill in 3 months?!!
     
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  21. WirelessBeachBum

    WirelessBeachBum Soylent Green is People
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    He had about 10 lines, and businesses are not hotlined as quickly as consumer customers.

    He he really used allot of airtime as well, which was the part that made it so funny.
     
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  22. Jerro

    Jerro Bronze Senior Member
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    How could you doubt such an upstanding citizen? After all his neighbor probably was listening, just not over the air. Probably at the window or screen door. After all there is not much else to do in a traditional trailer park.LOL........

    PS did he have teeth.
     
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  23. Blue_Tech

    Blue_Tech Member
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    This is central Kentucky, we get all kinds around here. Unfortunately, the phones are much too smart for many of these folks.
     
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  24. Jay2TheRescue

    Jay2TheRescue Resident Spamslayer
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    Ok, get this - We had a power failure last night at the store. Everything was running on battery backups. I locked the doors & closed the store. Several customers still insisted on banging on the doors despite the signs on the door that said "CLOSED DUE TO UTILITY FAILURE" in 72 pt font, the traffic light out front was out, & the parking lot lights were out. One guy said "I drove over an hour to get here, what do you mean I can't pick up my clothes?" Sir, the power is out. I can't access the computer to find the location where your clothes are stored. Even if I did know where they were there is no power so I cannot spin the conveyor to get them. Another guy gave me a hard time, said I should buy a generator. A generator to supply enough 3 phase power for my store will run at least $30,000. At $1.89 per garment we don't have money for that. I can't see spending that kind of money to stay open a few extra hours a year. What's wrong with these people?
     
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  25. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
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    E-Plus (BASE 12 month flatrate)/Vodafone Germany
    That sure is irate behavior to say the least.....you should've told him to finance your generator, Jay :D
     
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  26. Etorres777

    Etorres777 Life is good for now..
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    There's one that happened to me, but I don't think it's approriate. I'd get banned.. LOL, but if you want to know PM me.
     
  27. Jay2TheRescue

    Jay2TheRescue Resident Spamslayer
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    Had another one today. Customer said Why would I lie to you? I've been a customer of yours for 15 years! All of the customers in line started laughing. I said Sir, we've only been open for 2 1/2 years. (3 1/2 years ago this was a vacant lot.) The customer left w/o saying another word.

    -Jay
     
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  28. MOTOhooligan

    MOTOhooligan Former Mobile Data Addict
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    Man, these are great fun to read. I work in retention so I have waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too many of these to post. I'll try to think of some good ones and post them.
     
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  29. ShoresGuy

    ShoresGuy Euer WA Experte in Europa
    Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2003
    Messages:
    6,529
    Cell Tower Picture Gallery:
    419
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    94065,US/Köln, Germany
    My Phone:
    HTC/T-Mobile MDA II PPC
    Wireless Provider(s):
    E-Plus (BASE 12 month flatrate)/Vodafone Germany
    Maybe that customer waited at the vacant lot for 12 years until you opened up there :D
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  30. Etorres777

    Etorres777 Life is good for now..
    Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    Messages:
    1,726
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    El Paso, TX
    My Phone:
    Apple iPhone 3G
    Wireless Provider(s):
    at&t Mobility
    LOL, or maybe he meant with the company.. unless the company hasn't existed for 3 years.
     

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