Monitoring Your Teens Text

They are my kids. I will be damned if I don't know everything that is going on in their lives. I would block text messaging on their phones, and hold it unless they are going out.

I guess I am a mean dad. I am just scared for them.

 

I say just get out of the equation completely by giving the kid a subtle heads up. Besides, if she really does go Big Mother, I think the kid will just get better at not getting caught.

 

I would say to the relative (or whomever)...

And what are you going to do when you discover something you aren't crazy about - something your teen is texting?? Tell them so?? So that they know you were spying on them in some way?? And in what other ways are you going to spy on them after that? Did your parents spy on you like that? And how is your relationship with your parents?? I'm sure you wouldn't have liked the spying...

If you do this, your children are likely to find out.. and they will never trust you again, and thus will begin the permanently rocky state of the rest of your relationship. Don't do anything like that! TALK with your kids -(text them if you have to)- to find out what is going on in their life. But don't pry!

Kids are more adult-like than you and I may think... they also built relationships on trust - if you build their trust (and not risk taking it away by spying), your kids will come to you with different matters (i.e. perhaps the type of matters that you are concerned about - hence the reason for you wanting to spy on their texting).

It's one thing to monitor usage of texting, but quite another to monitor the content of their texts. Instead of trying to dive into their wireless life, try to get involved in their real life! Any signs that you should pick up on will be apparent.

Let them be a teen in the 21st century, but also let them know that they can come to you with whatever life throws their way (be it in a text, email, IM, voicemail, whatever...) Also, I might add that church can be a very positive influence if there are certain issues you are concerned about. Youth groups are a lot of support, and many of them deal with current issues in the digital age. If your family isn't church-oriented, however, don't suddenly force them to go. The parents should start going to church first (and find a church with a good youth group) and then after a week or two, invite your child to come along, or tell them about when the youth group meets, etc.