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Discussion in 'The Roaming Zone' started by palandri, Jul 22, 2018.
Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?
The thief was spending less than his wife.
Ha ha ha - Not funny.
A frog was driving down the street and his car broke down, so it got toad away.
How do you keep warm in a cold room?
You go to the corner because it's always 90 degrees
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy
What do you call a belt of watches?
A waist of time.
What kind of tree could a math teacher climb?
As a golfer, it's always smart to wear two pairs of pants. Just in case you get a hole in one.
How do you know when the moon is going broke?
When it's down to it's last quarter.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
Why don't polar bears get married?
They all have cold feet.
6:30 is the best time on the clock
Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
To get a tweetment
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
What does a dolphin say when he's confused?
Could you be more pacific
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Doctor, I am always dizzy for 30 minutes after I wake up. What can I do?
Wake up 30 minutes later.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don't work
Why was the Student's report card all wet?
It was below C level
Why are archaeologists so annoyed?
They always have a bone to pick.
Why do the seagulls fly towards the sea?
Because if they flew towards the bay they'd be called bagels.
Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
What plant runs on electricity?
A power plant
Why can't you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
Courtesy of Alexa, a.k.a Amazon Echo
What do you get if you cross a hippie with a ninja?
Peace and quiet.
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
A pet tree is like having a pet dog, but the bark is quieter
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze
What kind of mistakes do ghost make?
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?