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Joke Of The Day

Discussion in 'The Roaming Zone' started by palandri, Jul 22, 2018.

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  1. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?


    The thief was spending less than his wife.
     
    #1 palandri, Jul 22, 2018
  2. charlyee

    charlyee Ultimate Insanity
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    Ha ha ha - Not funny.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #2 charlyee, Jul 22, 2018
  3. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    A frog was driving down the street and his car broke down, so it got toad away.
     
    #3 palandri, Jul 22, 2018
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  4. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    How do you keep warm in a cold room?



    You go to the corner because it's always 90 degrees
     
    #4 palandri, Jul 25, 2018
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  5. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why did the cookie go to the hospital?


    Because it felt crummy
     
    #5 palandri, Jul 25, 2018
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  6. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What do you call a belt of watches?


    A waist of time.
     
    #6 palandri, Jul 26, 2018
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  7. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What kind of tree could a math teacher climb?



    Geometry
     
    #7 palandri, Jul 30, 2018
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  8. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    As a golfer, it's always smart to wear two pairs of pants. Just in case you get a hole in one.
     
    #8 palandri, Aug 3, 2018
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  9. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    How do you know when the moon is going broke?

    When it's down to it's last quarter.
     
    #9 palandri, Aug 5, 2018
  10. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?

    An investigator
     
    #10 palandri, Aug 8, 2018
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  11. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

    I don't know and I don't care.
     
    #11 palandri, Aug 8, 2018
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  12. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why don't polar bears get married?


    They all have cold feet.
     
    #12 palandri, Aug 9, 2018
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  13. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    6:30 is the best time on the clock

    hands down
     
    #13 palandri, Aug 15, 2018
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  14. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

    To get a tweetment
     
    #14 palandri, Aug 15, 2018
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  15. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    How much does a pirate pay for corn?


    A buccaneer
     
    #15 palandri, Aug 20, 2018
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  16. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What does a dolphin say when he's confused?

    Could you be more pacific
     
    #16 palandri, Aug 22, 2018
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  17. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?



    Give me my quarter back.
     
    #17 palandri, Aug 23, 2018
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  18. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Doctor, I am always dizzy for 30 minutes after I wake up. What can I do?

    Wake up 30 minutes later.
     
    #18 palandri, Aug 30, 2018
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  19. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why do cows have bells?

    Because their horns don't work
     
    #19 palandri, Aug 30, 2018
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  20. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why was the Student's report card all wet?

    It was below C level
     
    #20 palandri, Sep 3, 2018
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  21. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why are archaeologists so annoyed?


    They always have a bone to pick.
     
    #21 palandri, Sep 3, 2018
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  22. dmapr

    dmapr Silver Senior Member
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    Why do the seagulls fly towards the sea?

    Because if they flew towards the bay they'd be called bagels.

    Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
     
    #22 dmapr, Sep 5, 2018
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  23. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What plant runs on electricity?

    A power plant
     
    #23 palandri, Sep 5, 2018
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  24. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why can't you trust an atom?

    Because they make up literally everything.
     
    #24 palandri, Sep 6, 2018
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  25. dmapr

    dmapr Silver Senior Member
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    Courtesy of Alexa, a.k.a Amazon Echo

    What do you get if you cross a hippie with a ninja?
    Peace and quiet.
     
    #25 dmapr, Sep 11, 2018
    palandri, JFB and charlyee like this.
  26. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    How does a man take a bubble bath?

    He eats beans for dinner.
     
    #26 palandri, Sep 27, 2018
  27. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    A pet tree is like having a pet dog, but the bark is quieter
     
    #27 palandri, Sep 29, 2018
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  28. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    Why do fish live in salt water?

    Because pepper water makes them sneeze
     
    #28 palandri, Oct 6, 2018
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  29. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What kind of mistakes do ghost make?

    Boo Boo
     
    #29 palandri, Oct 12, 2018
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  30. palandri

    palandri Former Palm Guy
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    What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

    A slipper
     
    #30 palandri, Oct 16, 2018
    charlyee and dmapr like this.
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